I got this email this morning... and it fit so well following my last post that I had to post it...
It's kind of strange, Jessi, but first you have to know what you want, defined in terms of the end result. And then you have to physically move towards it, without defining the hows.
At which point, the thing you want actually starts coming to you, on its own terms, from a direction completely unexpected.
Just carry on, Jessi, detached from the details and timing, and perhaps act like you just couldn't care less. Meow.
July holds a slew of birthdays in my close circle, including my own (July 11). For the fifth year in a row now, July has not only been my birthday month, but also a month of big transitions and changes; these changes include (but are not limited to): changes of mind, changes of scenery, changes of the tide, and last, but certainly not least, changes of heart.
It's interesting to look back at last year's July 11, of which I have one photo...
I went to out to dinner in New York City in a little black dress and black Jimmy Choo's.
This year was a little bit different...
I baked a pie in my magical California gypsy home far, far away from civilization in a well worn sun dress, barefoot. The restaurant was delivered via dirt roads on the back of a truck...
It's ironic because when I think back to what I felt turning 27 in the big apple, the most poignant emotion I can recall was the longing I felt to get back to exactly where I am now, today, at 28.
This is particularly of interest to me now because I spent much of the last year feeling like I was facing an event horizon: To change, or not to change... that was the question. I felt the looming of an imaginary deadline that I, myself, created and had to change everything by, or else deem myself a failure. Enough with this gypsy life... time to grow up... basically.
Last year's July held a massive change of heart, tide, and scenery. But my mind essentially stayed the same.
This July I'm starting to get the hunch that a change of mind may be coming. I've fear I've been thinking about things all wrong this past year.
I have been preoccupied with where I wish I was rather than where I actually am. Not only that, but I've been so preoccupied with the future that I wasn't fully appreciating the present.
"You don't really need to go from A to B to C to D to get to X. You can really just go straight to X." Thanks buddy.
For the past few weeks, I finally feel like I'm more in my skin again.
"Let not the fruits of action be your motive to action."
. . . .
. . . .
My temporary home before this temporary home...
. . . .
This temporary home...
. . . .
My heart has moved to a magical gypsy home... again.
. . . .
I don't know what the future holds, but I'm starting to care a lot less. I really like right now.
