I lied. It happens.
I've been very busy figuring out what I actually want. (In life.) This is very different, it turns out, than what I actually need.
The two do not necessarily go hand in hand all the time. I spent most of the winter figuring that out.
The day that I really fully realized this, the cherry blossoms came.
It wasn't a spring day, and I wasn't in a spring mood. This realization wasn't an easy one. Spring cleaning is a bitch. And yet, it's totally necessary. Every. Goddamn. Year. After Year.
I am coming to find that I really believe it's our duty, as humans, to constantly examine our lives and take note of what's working for us, and what's not. No matter how much we want the things that are working against us, we have to let them go, or at least let them go in their current form.
Then comes the question, "How do you know if something's working for you?"
That's when it starts to get complicated. You have to be completely honest with yourself to really find out.
The problem lies in a little circular or spiraling dilemma. What you want right now, may not be what you need right now, because what you need right NOW is supposed to get you what you want in LIFE. What you want right NOW doesn't hold the same promise. And then, who's to say what life really is? Is your life in the future? Or is it right now? You see my problem. In fact, it's both...
The life that you choose to live right now will be the life that you end up with.
That's where the split between want and need occurs. What I want right now may not get me what I want in the future. But what I want in the future defines what I need right now.
That's the beauty of changing your mind.
If you find yourself worrying about the future, change your mind and start doing something now.
Make a to do list.
Speaking of which... I never posted mine for 2011...
This list started off the blog last year and I really did mean to post my revisions for this year. The basis of the mighty to do list has stayed the same since the first draft in 2008. The specifics have been rewritten year by year as life has shifted focus.
Here it is... finally...
- Maintain and nurture new and pre-existing ties... ie: professional, unprofessional, etc.
- Insist on living fearlessly. Apply to: body, friendships, loveships, family, business, recreation, etc.
- Avoid boys. Some exceptions for men apply.
- Simplify my life.
- Make daring decisions.
- More love, unconditionally.
- Speak your truth SOONER.
- Value humorous viewpoints over all else.
- Judge less.
- Be happy... everything is working out just as it should.
- Practice reckless abandon.
- Create art.
- Work hard. Reap rewards.
- Don't forget to smell the cherry blossoms.
- Remember... it's totally okay. (Repeat as needed... alternate with deep breathing.)
This list is a short look at where I'm shifting my focus. Now. It's not a drastic change, but just enough. For now.
These guys have been on repeat in the studio lately... thought this song was fitting for this post.
i love the guy that kind of seems like a zen genius hobo. he makes me happy.